Working on a Game as a Person Who Struggles

[CuddlySpider]

The title is iffy, but I tried.
I have been reading more on these forums and have a questions I have not considered asking before yet is something that concerns me.

Despite feeling highly passionate about my project for several years. I understand and acknowledge that my mental ailments make it hard to focus on one thing consistently for long periods of time. I can hyper focus for several days, but then burn out and experience mental blocks that prevent me from being able to feel any sort of motivation despite the passion still being there. It has been a frustrating on and off progress of jotting down framework ideas and reworking them over those years. Exactly how many years it has been i cannot tell you since my perception of time tends to be warped.

With that said. This project is still my child and I still feel very strongly about it's core concept.
What I am wondering is how could someone like me not let this die due to my own on and off activity and sluggishness. I know i can technically sell my idea, but I can't just do that.  I don't trust anyone else to understand exactly how I need the game to work. What I would like and possibly need is some one or people that I can trust to refer to me and to understand that I have moments of mental block and can't contribute much of my own ideas in that time, but can still help in smaller ways if asked.  However, it seems most want someone who can work for hours consistently every day and give up on people like me who are on and off with activity.

I have no idea what type of job or person would be needed to help me keep the progress consistently regardless if I am in my down time or not.
Currently I could not pay for someone, but would still like to know what i need to look for so I know exactly how much i should expect to need to get what I and this project needs to get a good official public start. Despite me not being able to be the sol primary manager so to speak.

Since my last thread asking for opinions on my project ideas I have put together a google spread sheet for the wireframe of a potential link tree and notes on it.
However recently I noticed my energy going down again and am scared I'm not going to be able to keep up with myself, but refuse to put this down for too long again.

My main issue is my inability to work on something for only an hour or two a day since I go into hyper focus which cases me to burn out quickly.
And, again, I absolutely refuse to allow that be the reason I can't get this project moving consistently.

It's a complicated type of question with some personal information, sorry about that.

I did take business courses and got a BA in Accounting so know how this kind of stuff can spell danger for a business if left unaddressed. But I have no idea how to go about finding someone who can manage me so to speak or be my co manager or creator. I don't know what I need, they didnd't talk about this in my past classes and just assume everyone interested in business can handle it on their own consistently.

Thank you for your time.
If this is still confusing despite my rambling attempt to explain my question, I'll try to rephrase.

[SingSong]

1 hour ago, CuddlySpider said:

I understand and acknowledge that my mental ailments make it hard to focus on one thing consistently for long periods of time. I can hyper focus for several days, but then burn out and experience mental blocks that prevent me from being able to feel any sort of motivation despite the passion still being there. It has been a frustrating on and off progress of jotting down framework ideas and reworking them over those years. Exactly how many years it has been i cannot tell you since my perception of time tends to be warped.

I don't think you're alone in this. Plus, if you're working on a project on your own, it's easy to get into the pattern of rushing to complete things and feeling like you need to push out as much as you can all at once but then get overwhelmed by the work and have to take a step back. Additionally, without a team, you're more likely to keep second-guessing your ideas or continuously work on "improving" them, because you don't have that second party to hold you to the original idea. So even though working alone can give you the freedom to create as you like, it also makes many parts of the creation process more difficult.

 

1 hour ago, CuddlySpider said:

I know i can technically sell my idea, but I can't just do that.  I don't trust anyone else to understand exactly how I need the game to work. What I would like and possibly need is some one or people that I can trust to refer to me and to understand that I have moments of mental block and can't contribute much of my own ideas in that time, but can still help in smaller ways if asked.

You will have a hard time when it comes to this. If you want to create a team or partnership that is able to execute your vision as you want, you have to completely rework your mindset. Most people, especially on this forum, want to make their own vision a reality. So if you desire to find someone or some people that will team up with you to make your project come to life, there will have to be a reason why they would gravitate toward you and your project rather than going off on their own. Having a good idea (I can't say whether yours is unique or interesting without knowing anything about it, so let's assume it is a profound new thing) is not enough. To successfully manage a team and make the game you want to make, you have to be the leader. If people aren't going to get the proper direction and motivation from you then they may as well put their time into something else. You have to be the one to put the reigns on the horse, so to speak.

Secondly, if your goal is to make a browser game (a game that is never complete and reaches the public eye during its many various stages), you will have to let go of the idea of this game mirroring your vision exactly. A game like this, if you want it to be successful, is in part owned by your userbase, and their ideas will end up shaping it. Some features you didn't necessarily like may be the ones players want the most and enjoy the most once implemented. Of course, you may have an idea of what you want the basics to be, and that's fine, but be open to the idea that when it's out there, you have to give up some control.

 

2 hours ago, CuddlySpider said:

However, it seems most want someone who can work for hours consistently every day and give up on people like me who are on and off with activity.

Sometimes it's like this. But I have witnessed the opposite, for the most part. People have jobs. They have kids. They have families and obligations. Some people are able to give 100% of their time to these kinds of projects, and if they are doing that then it makes sense that they want a partner that can do or is willing to do the same. For the rest, they are very lenient when it comes to deadlines, and it's almost to a fault because things have to be completed in a reasonable time frame in order to ever see a project come to fruition.

 

If you want the role of a leader then you have to develop the qualities of being one and that means divvying up tasks, setting deadlines, managing the group, and mimicking the behavior you want to see in everyone else. If you want them to get things done consistently, you have to do the same.

If you want to be the owner of a game and make it come to life but don't possess the skills that your team needs, unfortunately, that would most likely require close friends or money. You may get some volunteers, but if you can't keep the ball rolling on your end (e.g. a team member asks you to tell them what you specifically want for a feature but you aren't able to give them more details at the time), your volunteers will lose interest and when you have a high turn over your project suffers. Every time someone leaves and a new person enters the group, you take a step back.

The best advice I can give you is to find methods that work for you that allow you to tackle what you already recognize will be an issue. If this project is your child (many people here can relate to that), you have to be willing to work on improving your habits to make it happen so that you may introduce your child to the world one day.  

[CuddlySpider]

5 hours ago, SingSong said:

If you want the role of a leader then you have to develop the qualities of being one and that means divvying up tasks, setting deadlines, managing the group, and mimicking the behavior you want to see in everyone else. If you want them to get things done consistently, you have to do the same.

Thank you so much for all you advice!

I think I'll start working on ways to build on trust issues and timelines for the development to hold people to when I'm ready. Possibly label each part that needs to get done with a priority rating along with order so I can easily edit it it if I get more or less people than initially planned for.

But definitely have to work on my trust thing more so. I'll probly talk to my friends and therapist about wanting to work on trusting others and being able to be prepared for the worse case at the same time. I do feel once I trust myself on my ability to handle any hurdle I'll be ok, but will ask to see what a professional has to say about it.

I feel I came off as closed minded. I am very open to ideas, I am just worried and don't like when people do permanent changes without asking first. Like if they have a start idea while writing a description they can add that in if they want without asking, I would just like to see to be sure it fits before it gets coded in without a word about the change. But again that is all to do with trust issues. I'm sure most people don't go behind backs like that.

Thank you again for the detailed reply! I do feel more confident in knowing where I really should start. I'll work on my trust, and timeline along with minimal job roles needed.
I graduated recently so am still in the school mindset of "team work" (aka. most people not doing anything they promised or adding in things without asking the team before turning it in.) I assume people's attitudes, when being paid to be a part of the team or are passionate about what is being done, will be drastically different.

[Digital]

Perhaps even a more simple idea. Start by documenting your vision before you touch anything else. This way you can better keep track of ideas, and build a "working/todo list". That way if you are burnt out on ideas, you can at least recall previous ideas. The other note is just pacing. It is easy to focus and burn out quickly. The best mindset is to attack things in small increments. Think of your project not as a start and an end, but as a continually evolving thing. You will always be increment it, instead of trying to do it all at once.

Sometimes, baby steps helps reduce the fatigue and burnout.

@SingSong's advice is also brilliant!

[CuddlySpider]

5 minutes ago, Digital said:

Sometimes, baby steps helps reduce the fatigue and burnout.

I agree with that fully. I just very hyper focused and loos track of time and before i know it the sun is setting and I worked way too much on one thing vs spreading it out.

Perhaps a timer can help me remember to take a step back. I think i'll add some to my phone for when I start working on one thing it will notify in my perhaps one/two hours that i need to stop for the day and work on something else.

Thank you c:

[Digital]

1 hour ago, CuddlySpider said:

Perhaps a timer can help me remember to take a step back. I think i'll add some to my phone for when I start working on one thing it will notify in my perhaps one/two hours that i need to stop for the day and work on something else.

I actually live and die by this in order to manage a hectic life in general. It works if you are consistent and stick to it.

[hurricaneviolet]

This is kind of personal, but I'm generally pretty open about mental illness, so:

I have ADD which I take medication for (and have on and off since high school), and I also have issues with generalized anxiety and OCD. I have also run a successful game for 8.5 years, and continue to make a living and support myself from the HP.

Like with anything in life, the better I am managing my mental health, the easier it is to work on the game. So, that's my advice for you: make sure you are getting the appropriate help and support for your mental illness.

I don't know your situation, but for me, regular therapy and medication makes worlds of difference. For the most part, as long as I am diligent about working on my mental health and doing the things that I know work for me to keep my issues at bay, or work around them, then I can function like an average, well-balanced person. But, if I don't take care of it, I end up barely being able to drag myself out of bed, let alone doing anything useful.

You kind of just have to find what works for you to keep yourself on task the way you want to be. It helps tremendously to have other people help shoulder the burden, but part of it needs to be you finding ways to work with and around the mental blocks.

For me, I set up reminders, I keep a detailed planner with what I need to do each day for the next couple of weeks (and then change things as needed), and I have a dry erase board that I use for big projects which is split into three sections - to do, in progress, and done - which I then write every small task/detail of a project on a sticky note and put them up in the appropriate categories as I'm working. That way I don't forget things, and I have constant reminders of what I need to do to stay on task.

And I use the strategies I've learned in therapy to help manage the mental illness. When I can feel it creeping up on me, I go through my checklist of triggers and then I do the things that I know help. So for example, if I'm starting to get anxious and I haven't left the house in days, then I have to force myself to go out and get lunch or go shopping or something to manage that anxiety before it turns into full blown cabin fever.

One thing that I found particularly helpful was something John Green said in a podcast. He struggles with OCD and he was talking about how working out for an hour a day, even when he doesn't want to or doesn't feel like he has time, helps him to be more productive. He says that by doing something that is good for his mental health (in his case, working out), it ends up giving him more time in the day, because he is devoting less of his time to obsessive thinking.

I think that can apply to lots of health situations, though. It's all about finding ways to manage your symptoms, so you can have more time for the things you want to do, need to do, and are passionate about.

However, sometimes, despite the best coping techniques, things just don't go as planned. Which is unfortunate, but remember to be kind to yourself, and understand that sometimes you won't be able to move ahead as planned, but that's not the end of the world. I think most people who work on creative projects go through hyper focus and burn out to some degree, and it's normal during development for burn out to happen. Development is hard and draining. Even after a game opens, burn out happens. But you just have to keep working on it when you can, and eventually it will come together.

That's my experience with doing this and coping with mental illness, so I hope some (or all) of it is helpful to you!

[CuddlySpider]

@hurricaneviolet Thank you for your input! I know it's hard to be open about this kind of stuff because of how sensitive that type of information can be. But it is very helpful to others who experience the same or similar difficulties.

I did put on my development timeline to find a therapist or help group.
Honestly on my down days I wonder where the time goes, but it is as you said, I'm using all my time and energy on negative/obsessive thoughts vs actually doing anything.
I think all add "Find coping mechanisms and a support group/therapist" to my development timeline and put it at the top priority. I do have things that help temporarily, but once common events happen where I am I go right back down so to speak. I should focus on finding lasting coping mechanisms or ones i can do right after those events that bring me down or during them.

It would be helpful and immediately helpful for me to move out, but that is a long term goals so I should find something that helps while I'm here and waiting for the ability to move to a healthier environment.

Thanks again I was very narrow focused on moving out vs finding things I can do right now to help. c: